Archive for October, 2011

the …..est mania of Dubai

The Dubai Nobody Tells You About

Dubai is the land of the biggest, tallest, longest, widest, richest, fanciest, fastest…everything is ….est of the world.

They have the tallest residential towers in the world, the tallest restaurant in the world, the largest number of South Indians in the world, the highest crane operator in the world.

If it does not grow in Dubai , they’ ll make it artificially – artificial ski slopes, artificial islands, artificial oasis, coconut trees and lawns, artificial beaches, artificial economy.

Indians especially love it here because of the dirham-to-rupee value. Pakistanis adore it.

The Egyptians come here because there is nothing to do in Egypt . No more pyramids to build either.

The Filipinos come here because they have no choice; theres nothing back home, not even dogs – they’ve been eaten up.

The Brits come here coz they have forgotten what it is to enjoy 3 meals a day in UK and nobody employes them there for the crap they give, and its TAX free !

The Lebanese come here to buy cars, dress to kill, wear Peter Pan shoes 10 sizes bigger than their feet, put 1 kg of gel on their heads and give everyone ball talk. They’ll buy a 1980s Merc or BMW for 10k dirhams and drive the car like they’re sitting in the rear passenger seat, stretching their arms all the way to the steering wheel, giving you the piercing bald eagle look.

Russian girls come here for “fun”.

The Bangladeshis come here to serve you when you honk outside a Baklava (shop), but would not even look at you if you park and go inside to pickup yourself.

Now according to the government Dubai is Tax free.

Of course, that is true. You only have to pay for the visa, medical, sponsor, insurance, resident ID, Opening a bank account or even closing an account, Municipality, Sewerage, attestation of papers, translation of papers, driving license papers, lessons, Car license, testing, and …. but the salary is Tax Free.

Only, there is a Pay and Park scheme with 5000 parking lots, and 500,000 cars in the city, so where the hell do you park? And you are fined for wrong parking.

Toll has been introduced on many roads. You can avoid the toll tax by using alternative routes, but you’ll end up in a traffic jam because everyone is trying to avoid the toll tax.

If you have any government related work like medicals for visa or immigration, you have 2 options – Standard and Urgent Procedure. Standard takes 15 days and Urgent takes 2 days. The difference is 30 to 40-odd dirhams. Everyone goes for the urgent option and the Dubai government makes money, urgently.

If you switch jobs you get a work ban and to lift the ban you pay a huge penalty.

In Dubai , without a car you are paralyzed (you dont even get jobs if you dont have a car). But you ‘ll get your license in attempts ranging from 2 to 20. Each time you fail you have paid fees for Driving classes & Driving Tests, which are 1000-odd dirhams. Imagine the money RTA makes.

Most of the expats live alone with families back home. So they spend much on phone calls. And call charges from Dubai are high.

Another odd thing about Dubai – no matter where you go or who you meet, you take down phone numbers. Everybody has everybody’s number in Dubai . And everyone has a Visiting Card, whether you are a bootlegger, a masseuse, a hooker, a car cleaner, a watchman or a pizza delivery boy. Everyone knocks around with lots of cards in his or her wallet and one card in the palm. So whenever you shake hands with anyone in Dubai and let go, you end up with a visiting card in your palm.

If you’re walking on the road and you ask someone the time, he’ll tell you 10:30, give you his card and say, I have new and second-hand watches.

At a restaurant when you are leaving they’ll say Here is my card, call us for home delivery.

If you’re below your building, you’ll meet those Chinese chicks giving you their cards, saying, Call us if you want DVDs.

If you’re standing at a bus stop, an expat will pull over in his 1980 Toyota Corolla, give you his card and say, If you want Pick-up & Drop Service, call me.

Dubai has amusing-looking buildings. Some have holes in them, some have giant balls on them, some look like aeroplanes, some look like sail boats, and, all of them reach into space with your window right in front of the moon.

Everyone in Dubai goes to malls. Not necessarily to shop. To beat the heat, go to a mall; business meeting, go to a mall; getting bored, go to a mall; want to take a leak or dump, go to a mall; want to do lukhagiri (little in your pocket, little in your mind), go to a mall.

If you want to go for a picnic go to a mall.

Some South Indians go home to Kerala, get married, and then come to a Dubai Mall for their honeymoon.

THAT…MY FRIENDS…..IS…….. DOO-BAI

another economic melt down on horizon

The Gulf economies must guard against potential consequences of the latest round of economic challenges faced by Europe and the United States, a top banker said.

The Beirut-based Union of Arab Banks (UAB), which groups 470 Arab banks, said many regional nations are already suffering from high debt, slow growth, lower government revenue and a slowdown in capital flow into the region.

Union of 7 shaikhdoms in UAE are suffering from high public debt because of excessive borrowing to fund local projects and support their budgets and balances of payments.

It put the debt in the UAE at 21 per cent of GDP at the end of 2010 and expected it to fall back to 16.3 per cent in 2011 and 14.5 per cent in 2012.

coming up is a dry spell for UAE if the economic situation in europe continue for another fortnight

with a local product oil

prices going up by 30% within a quarter everyone is feeling the crunch. Lifestyle are crumbling and expats suffering most. The salary bracket difference between local & expat is huge as huge as 100% and the EXPAT standing in UAE is but ‘luxurious’ slavery with zero rights as human.

Lending banks are vultures as soon as they loose a job and fail to pay the loan they either end up in jail or commit a sucide. There is no 3rd choice for EXPATS in UAE.

Driving Licence – demand down

Its EASY Its Convenient – To Get a Driving licence in UAE now.

Of course the charges for driving lesson classes is 3 times higher then last decade but it is 100% now that you get a licence in 1st attempt.

since the economic melt down, staff become surplus, closing of branches, short listings and making staff redundant resulted in man power heading home.

Lease conditions more strict from DFIs, banks reluctant to lend without solid guarantees demand for the Driving licence has gone down.

On the side note with opening of metro red & green lines people are inclined to use public transport instead of investing in lessons & obtaining a driving licence.

With growing cost of living in UAE and salaries not improving in proportion EXPATS (the back bone of UAE economy) are choosing for opportunities back home.

The Picture says it all

Unless the such attitude change Expats will remain in Demand.

Air Ticket – Gang Busted

5 Pakistani nationals resident of UAE, involved in airline ticket fraud are arrested.

News reports suggest Emirates Airline alone suffered accumulated loss of approx 150,000 AED in one quarter.

Tip came in when credit card holders from US & Australia reported ticket charge to their cards for sectors not traveled by the credit card holders. In turn banks approached Emirates for refund on behalf of clients. – The multiple incidents triggered an investigation and claimed cards become red as the sector Dubai Karachi Dubai – Dubai Lahore Dubai was most charged on multiple red cards. The sector become under radar. (Mr.) Ali Rida, 37 Safety and Security officer with Emirates started a track back on the passengers using ‘RED’ cards & trail led to 5 Pakistani nationals residents of Dubai. They apparently used Emirates as shuttle between Dubai Karachi Dubai – Dubai Lahore Dubai carrying cargo for smugglers in the 30KG weight limit apparently travelling without personal luggage.

In most of the cases they left in the morning and returned the same day evening.

Dubai police arrested the gang of 5 with support & complaint from Emirates Security, The police also confiscated a number of computers and mobile phones. A case is now under court proceedings.

Now it is mandatory for credit card holder to be one of passengers for the Ticket or Tickets charged on a credit card, Emirates reserve right to deny a boarding to passenger using ticket charged to a credit card which does not belong to a fellow passenger on the same flight.

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